You are not the person you were a year ago, a month ago, a week ago, or even yesterday.
Where you are now is not where you were then. Amen to that. Punch your ticket and move ahead. It’s 2016, for goodness sake.
This wisdom isn’t mine, but the experience is, and for that I am most grateful for the past year, but even more so for the one ahead.
If I were asked to predict anything about the next year, there is only one thing I can say with absolute and utter confidence: I will not be the same Kelly in a year. You won’t be the same you either. Breathe.
That very thought used to scare me. My pattern has always been to get bogged down in the nostalgia of the past (cut me some slack, I’m a writer; we dwell on romantic notions of what was, and the apocalyptic nature of what will be). And when I’m high on life, I want to hold on so tightly to everything and everyone that elates my world, so it doesn’t go away. Sometimes I dwell in the fantasy world where I believe I can hold on.
Oh, delusions are grand.
Looking back on the year that was, I made some of the most beautiful mistakes of my life. I mean that sincerely. I set myself up for some epic fails and catapulted myself into some weird and wonderful situations. I learned the hard way. I always do. Who cares? The point is, I’m learning.
I have a lot of questions about pretty much everything. Curiosity is one of my best qualities. Life is short. I need answers. Every year I am less afraid to ask the tough questions. Now I only want to invest in the people who aren’t afraid to answer them. Boy, that really cuts the friendship list down. Giggle.
It seems like every year I’m on the planet, another layer of clarity is offered and I’m seeing people and events through a new sense of comfortable detachment. The writer in me is happiest observing. The extrovert wants to get in the mix. The introvert needs a few days to recover either way. Experience is the best teacher.
This year I have learned to challenge some deep seeded issues like forgiveness, acceptance and judgment. That’s not just for the world around me, but for myself too. There was some heavy baggage that needed to be dropped. Done.
The volume of my intuition got turned up because I finally got quiet enough to listen. But that’s not enough. I had to trust it too. I had to rekindle my faith in what I cannot see, but absolutely know to be true. I had to relearn to have faith in faith. The effort is worth the reward.
Part of that includes self-acceptance. It’s funny that the person we fight most with in our lives is actually our self. I decided to win. I peeled off some labels that no longer describe me but I didn’t add any new ones.
I am not the same person I was a year ago. I’m not the same mother, wife, friend, or writer. I started buying my own hype. It’s priceless.
Fake it until you make it? No way. Make it so you don’t have to fake it.
Writing has been my passion since I learned how to hold a pencil (which I still cannot do properly). Despite my father’s insistence that I would starve to death in this career, I remain well fed and eager to write more. They say you should do what you love: I love to write.